The Hopeful Emo Kid

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why I started a blog.

April 19, 2017 by Briana Herr Leave a Comment

So this week is going to be a little different. I’ve spent the last week and a half writing blog posts about different things. I wrote like three different blogs. Or rather I tried, but I ended up getting what I had outlined on the page but not being able to write much more that.

And while I’m a big support of the ‘write until you write yourself out of the block.’ I’m also a big believer in the ‘if you aren’t feeling it, then move on.’ too.

So, in the midst of all of that, I thought. hey why not tell everyone why I wanted to start a blog and just talk about all of that.

So because of what we are talking about. This isn’t going to be formatted the way my other blogs are. it’s not going to be a list kind of style that my blogs take form in.

This is just an honest and open confession of my soul, which not going to lie, isn’t going to be all that easy for me but what the hell. life begins at the end of one’s comfort zone, right? so on that note let’s get started.

So, I guess to start, I should start at the beginning of it all.

I’ve been making up stories for longer than I can remember, it’s been a part of me, and who I am as a person.

writing is my way of dealing with things that stress me out, makes me sad, angry and anything else in between. Writing helped me face not only my fears but thoughts and feelings that I didn’t know I was having until I put them onto paper.

Writing was just like breathing for me. The feeling of my fingers gentle hitting the keyboard. The feeling of the wood of a pencil or the grip of a pen as they glide across paper so easily, all of this like taking a deep breath after holding it for far too long.

It started with a story and a notebook, and then many more after. Many that were written, many that were just planed and dreamt. but I never ran out of idea, and for the most part the passion or drive to write them.

I spent many nights that I wouldn’t sleep in made-up lands of underlining truths and darkness within. writing got me through many times where sleep was far from my reach and when my thoughts free fell and bounced off my anxieties of the day.

But the more I learned about writing, the more I tried to refine it and started taking it more serious, it wasn’t just a coping thing, it always had been a passion. It was in my blood from day one. But it was starting to become what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

So I started to write a story like many others that I wrote before it, then I edited it, and rewrote it, and repeat countless times until I had a finished a short story. And so I tried to punish it. With no luck of course. But that was okay, It was my first shot.

I went back to it. Got an idea, wrote, edited, rewrite, edit, tried to get published. Over and over again, day in and out for years. The pressure that I was starting to put on myself felt like the world was on my shoulders, and even though writing destress me before, was starting to cause its own fair share.

Writing was starting to feel like an endless sea, and I was trying to swim to land that was just out of reach.

I loved writing but, some days when the sea was too big. I would start prioritizing other things over writing, things like work, friends and Family.

But of course, writing was such a big part of what made me who I am. So I started to choose writing over sleeping when I would get into my mood of skipping. And while this had gotten better over the years, I still get into this mood occasionally and fall back into the same bad habit.

Not only but then a couple of years ago I had a job that took everything from me, mental, physical and emotionally. I fell into a dark spot, being a good mix sad and angry all of the time.

and writing was only frustrating to me because even when I tried to get words outs, I just stared at the page, unable to get anything out of me, even my own feelings.

but the sadness, anger and frustrate only added fuel to the fire and made me feel like I was sinking into the sea, falling into the dark depths of it all.

And all of that made it even harder for me to write and all of this set me back in my goals with writing. Luckily, I have gotten out of that job and I’m in a much better place in life.

But so this all bring me back to the title of this blog. Why I started to up a blog? Well it goes back to how writing was an endless sea for me. I started to feel like I was doomed to swim forever in my endeavors with trying to become a published author. In the middle of all of this I was still trying to learn all I could about writing and there was a recurring theme.

every author tuber/blogger/anything and everything I read online said one that. ‘start up a blog/vlog. Get yourself out there for everyone to see! Why would someone buy a book from someone they have never heard of nor cared anything about them?’ And after talking about it with one of my sisters, who’s a web designer and blogger she set me up with this blog!

And oh my god guys. Screw why everyone says to make a blog or vlog, make it because it’s something that you can complete in a short amount of time and after the fact you have something that you can point at and be like ‘it’s done, it’s complained and I’m really fucking proud of it.” The feeling of standing on rocks in the middle of the sea is enough reason for me to feel accomplished and better about this whole thing.

But that being said, it’s been really great to meet people because of this blog. And it’s been really rewarding to try and help other people who are struggling with the same things I was (and still am) and to make everyone who reads my blog feel less alone in their journey.

I know it may feel like you are the only one traveling down a lonely road in the dark but there’s billions of people on that long, hard road, we’re never truly alone and I know as much anyone else could, all you have to do it reach out your hand and turn on a light.

So there you have it lovable kiddos. This is why I’m blogging. Not to make money, not to get fans and follower to buy a book that I might never even put on out. Pretty much the only reason is because I wanted to feel like I’m accomplishing something and to do the one thing that I have loved to do pretty much since I started breathing.

I would love to hear about anything anyone of you would like to talk about. To high five and cheer in your success in the writing world or in life, swear out loud over your frustrates or be there during the low moments. make sure to connect with me in the comments/twitter/facebook/whatever. I’m always willing to talk.

Until next time!

Filed Under: my life Tagged With: my life, writer life, writer's block

when the muses don’t want to speak.

February 16, 2017 by Briana Herr Leave a Comment

Writers are weird creatures, (sorry but it’s true.) we pull not only totally made up people out of thin air. but lands, worlds and monster. even now I’m pulling a whole blog out of nothing, out of my brain and out with my fingertips. It’s great and awesome. Writers are a cool group of people. Go us!

But that doesn’t mean that it’s all that easy, anyone that has ever had to do a paper for school understands the dreadful feeling of sitting down and staring at a blank page for hours and getting nothing done.

And no, it’s not because you are getting distracted from the internet (well mostly.) and it’s not because you’re not good at writing (not by a long shot.) no, It’s writers block. it happens to the best of us.

If anyone saw how I wrote anything, wither it’s a blog post, something from my WIP, or even a tweet would see that 90% of the time me working looks like this.

WHAT AM I DOING?

WHAT AM I TYPING?

WHAT ARE THESE WORDS?

WHY IS THIS SO AWFUL?  

WHY I AM DOING THIS?!?!

Pretty much over and over until I get my stuff together.

So for the times that the voices in your head don’t want to talk to you, or if the fog covering that new and wonderful place won’t show themselves to you, or the monsters are hiding in their dark caves. Well then maybe some of these tricks will help being them out in the opening.

 Change your writing space.

you know the ins and outs. You have seen that same spot on the floor, or that same chip on your desk (if you have one.) the cup that might have been sitting there for days. You have seen all that stuff a billion times now.

you spend hours in there, sometimes days at a time, you can close your eyes and picture it too vividly that you don’t even have to be in there. and that’s just boring to us creative people. It doesn’t make our minds run excited as much. So spacing out starts to happens, boredom sets in and if you a phone or a computer with you, the internet is calling for you to watch cute animal videos or taking quizzes about type of bread you are, based on your star sigh.

And if your writing space is at your home office, a working office, there’s even more to keep your mind off of writing,

Dishes and laundry are piling up, you should be trying to get that great deal for the office, make your boss proud. You’re at the office so you should be working, not staring at a blank page! The kids want you to play with them, the list goes on and on it’s hard to just only think about writing and nothing else.

Now as much as I think it is importation to find your space, if you find that any of this is happening to you then you should change it up a little.

go out to a coffee shop, go sit in a park, go somewhere you don’t normally write and just look around.

There’s probably a lot of people, a lot of stuff going on, let your mind try and posses all that information and get your mind running.

Or if you already write in that kind of setting to begin with then maybe there’s too much going on for you to settle your mind. It could be just overloading your senses too much, rather in stimulating it.

so try going to a very quiet place, try and clear your mind, let it breath and do its thing.

Like for me, I write in a space with a lot of noise going on, but I’m writing this blog, sitting on the floor of my best friends’ house at 2 in the morning with only the sound of my keyboard.

I always find that I get more work done here or when I’m at one of my sibling’s houses I find that the words come out easy because there’s less things that make my mind want to wander away.

Even changing small things, like what you drink, eat, use to light the space, what you use to jog down the words will also help this problem.

Go back through and edit what you already have.

Now, I know that a lot of writers are against doing this but bear with me here.

I’ll touch on this much, much further on a different blog, but for now I will state I am so far on the band wagon for this I’m pretty much driving it.

Editing when you have writers block is great way to stay productive while in the endless desert that is writers block. You stay well versed into the world of your project, and its lore and magic or any of the sort. Instead of spending more and more time away from the world, and then have to reintroduce yourself to the world that you had made.

You can also save time while editing bad grammar and awkward sentences while you can’t think of anything new to write. making a lot less work for yourself in the long run.

You can fix any plot holes that might have popped out now that you might not have noticed before.

showing all the feelings and in tenseness through well place setting rather than just telling your readers why we should feel anything towards your written baby.

and make sure that any foreshadowing that you put in, are hiding in plain sight. And get new ideas or develop other ones that might have only begin to bud.

Just write random stuff.

So, my little intro wasn’t just me being funny (well okay a little,) when writers block hits me, I just start randomly typing. Anything, any thought that pops in my head.

I writer my feelings, I write about the weather, sometimes I just put on a movie or TV show and write the words along as the speak.

Whatever to keep my hands moving and my mind thinking.

Also, a lot of times writers block is triggered or even a directly caused by self-doubt and writing any bad feelings or doubts you may have, helps get it out of your system, then going back to the kick ass writer that you are.

Not only that but if you just stop writing for days, weeks, months whenever you hit wall is more damaging then doing you any good. Writing is like a muscle, if you stop using it, then it will get weaker and weaker.

So, it’s a lot better to type or write ‘I suck.’ Over and over for five pages then to walk always and might never pick it back up.

I think that one of the worst things as a writer you can do is just stop and wait for inspiration to come to you, I’ve been guilt of this too, I think at some points all writers are. but that old saying goes that if you wait around for inspiration to hit you then you’ll never be able to write.

So even if you are tired, or can’t think of something. Or depressed or anything of the sort, just write. Not only will you most likely feel better but you might end up with something great. It keeps your mind forced on something other than self-doubt, pity, sadness or whatever wants to take away your voice.

And if it isn’t great the first time around well, that’s what editing is for.

Knowing when it’s just not working.

If writer’s block is happening every time you are sitting down to write in a current project, every time it makes you want to pull your hair out or you stare at blank pages for weeks on end, cry your eyes out or feeling less of your ability then it’s not you, it’s the project that you are working on.

sometimes it just doesn’t work, about the idea needs to be reworked,

maybe the theme or topic just isn’t as exciting as you thought it was.

Maybe the characters just plain blow.

You can’t find the rhyme that means what you want it too.

Or that post feel like meaninglessly words just to have something.

If deep down, you feel that it’s not working then there’s no shame in scrapping it, and moving onto something different. It doesn’t make you a failure to move on to something that you care a lot more about.

Because if you write (or make, do any of the sort.) something that you don’t care about, not only will everyone know that you don’t care. But it makes mockery of what you were trying to say in the first place.

So, there you have it lovable kiddos, hopefully these will help you out next time that the muses feel like calling in sick.

have a good way to get passed writer’s block? let me know! Via comments/Twitter/Facebook/whatnot

Until next time.

Filed Under: how to's Tagged With: editing, how to, self-help, writer's block, writers, writing

Hiya!

Hi, I’m Briana! I’m a coffee addicted night owl who likes dark, depressing books and upbeat music. I also happen to be an author. Want to read about my life in lists? Click Read More…

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